Mourning is Real. Losing Mom Too Soon.
By Jorja Stark
My life can be defined as a daily effort of trying to deal with my mom’s death for 48 years. I thought I was different from everyone else to miss someone everyday so much! I was 17 years old and just graduated from high school. I learned the meaning of mourning from this experience.
In the late 70’s, there was no therapy, no support groups, no special attention at home or in schools, no internet searches for relief, and no information on coping skills to help kids like me and my sisters. Thankfully those types of things are available today.
There are healthy ways to get through the journey to continue onward with a happy life. The story of my mom’s passing may be another post someday but this post is meant to share the act of memorializing for acceptance of normal grief and mourning. I found my way & you can too!
Memorializing Helps. Here Are 6 Fun Projects!
Mourning times & missing her are still with me but ways to memorialize makes it livable as I go through life. Memorializing helps you live your memories and thoughts in a positive way instead of stashing them away and trying to forget.
One: Write a Book!
Take some favorite memories and create a storybook for children, poetry or a novel based on your life with her. This is what I did with “Who Will Catch a Milkweed”
Or you can create a cookbook based on her recipes and family history.
Two: Make a Scrapbook or Collage
Gather paper clippings she may have saved, show or movie tickets, handwritten cards and letters, handwritten recipes and make a scrapbook or a collage.
Three: Make a Shadowbox
Gather some of her items that you
remember her using, like small kitchen or gardening tools, gloves, jewelry, hair clips or other items and create an artsy shadowbox.
Four: Make a Short Film/Video
Make a short film/video for all the relatives who never had the opportunity to know her. Use interviews of people who knew her - what was a funny thing about her you remember? What did she love to eat? What kind of music did she like? What pets did she have growing up?
Five: Make Meaningful Jewelry
Make matching jewelry for family members to wear in her memory. Wear them together on special occasions like her birthday or a holiday.
Bonus Idea: Organize a Memory Walk or Event
My sisters and I are doing a Bluebell Memory Walk along the Shenandoah River for family but also for anyone to walk in memory of their moms that have passed. (My mom loved Bluebells!)
I love that my family knows her through me and the visual “memorials” I’ve created. Memorializing has helped me and is a happy way of coping.
Share any memorializing you've done for your mom
also other thoughts you may have on mourning and coping!
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