By Hector, the Norwegian Forest Cat and scribe/interviewer Jinja Notargiacomo
Note: We present real ideas and solutions for serious everyday problems and issues. Yes, we are correlating the issues to cat life, and we are including quippy, funny lines - but in no way is this column a joke. We at HCP are all about well being and we hope any post from our authors (and Hector) may help readers find enjoyment and peace.
Get to know Hector, the Norwegian Forest cat. He’s the super-smart star of the Stellar Adventures of Hector and Paz and he’s a stellar problem-solver. If there is one thing Hector knows, it’s all about the quirkiness of the cat people he’s lived with. When things get confusing or difficult he knows when to ask for help and seek advice and so here’s some stoic advice from the ultimate survivor himself, Hector.
Who are Cat-People?
If you consider yourself a “cat person”, you may have heard your personality profile from various experts of psychology. Although we are mostly loving, generous, and shirt-off-your-back kind of people, “they” say we have our share of unwelcome characteristics.
How Should People Deal With Fault-Finding Gaslighters Who Belittle Others?
Hector: “Got your back on this one. Gaslighters never get the best of me. Belittling and gaslighting is essentially attempting to make another person feel bad about themselves, doubt their worth, and try to get you to engage in the argument. Cat people should handle these misguided people like I would.”
Simple psychology. I call this “Ignore-Laugh-Leave.” Sometimes not responding is best to let them know “you can’t get under MY fur” uhhh - your skin. A cat will turn his back to you, flick a tail and begin licking a paw to wash his face while not looking at you. He will simply ignore the bold tone of a bully.
Cats will let the gaslighter know that they are annoyed by turning their ears backward to purposely announce I AM IGNORING THE CRAP YOU ARE FLINGING. With the washing face activity and no eye contact, this physically says “I am bored of you”.
Finally, leave the scene - staying in the presence of a belittler is time wasted - you could be giving up nap time. A slow saunter with head held high and no excuses for your departure into the next room or up the cat tree will do. It will help to piss them off even more if you crack a smile, give a blow-off wave, and a mutter a laugh while you’re walking away.
Your inner cat is navigating through a situation that demands keeping in control of emotions and actions. The power to walk away without someone getting their face ripped off is true power. Don’t waste energy and time on being sucked into someone else’s craziness.”
What Can People Do About Constant Worry?
Hector: “Oh, the brow furrowing worrywart. Problems that aren’t problems yet.
Worry about the past, worry about the future, cats don’t play that. Here’s what cats do: If you’re worried about a specific situation, focus on the problem and calculate the benefit-to-risk ratio and either go all in, or step away and let it go. Cats are loners, however, I have often brought in help and advice from others when needed. We don’t bury the problem and hold it in. We don’t question our ability to get through it.
We can remain focused for great lengths of time, which is innate to cats and cat people through our genetic code in the planning of the hunt. The patience required for the perfect strike is within us. We can stare at a mouse hole all day. One big help with this astonishing brain-focusing ability is daily multiple naps and proper diet - this will keep your thoughts fresh.
Cats like most animals are stoics. The past is gone, you don’t have power over that anymore, don’t spend wasted energy worrying. The future is not here yet, don’t contemplate it by spending energy on something that has not yet happened. Focus on the moments right in front of you and most of your worry will be gone.”
Sometimes Change Is A Source Of Anxiety, How Can People Deal With And Accept Change?
Hector: “ We cats and cat-people are just that. We are who we are. Be fair and kind to yourself so that you can only do what you can do (and be thankful that you’re not a dog.)
Cats recognize new toys and will chase them. Play with them. Try them out. Master them. And then if they are no fun or problematic, they go under the couch. The ones that are cool, can be in your life. The crappy ones go under the couch. Allow toxic sources to exit your life. Furthermore, and most importantly, never give up playing with the good toys. Keep playing.
My whole life has been a series of changes, I started out on the streets, was thankfully given to a no-kill animal shelter where I lived for 5 months. My life changed again after I was adopted and I had to adjust once again. I decided that I would only contemplate things within my control. If you have control of the change that is occurring - you can do something about it. If not, do not waste energy on it. Be active. Plan every day to be in a better place. Never give up.”
Holy Cow Publications is thankful that Hector has graced us with his time for this interview with Jinja. We are looking forward to his next quest in the Stellar Adventures of Hector and Paz which will be coming soon.
Please share your thoughts with us today!
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